Is it my fault this marriage is struggling?
But that isn't what this is really about. You've spent a long time choosing everyone else. When is it going to be about you?
The Roommate I Married
An 8 week group for women who are ready to stop pretending this relationship is "just fine."
You and your husband are married and “happy on paper,” but it feels like a lie.
When he's here, you wish he was gone. When he's away, you feel like you can take a full breath.
You don't even realize how long it's been since your marriage has felt this way. But it has, and you're starting to ask: what's the fucking point of being married?
You can't remember the last time you two went on a date.
Even if he asked, you don't want to go.
The truth is he isn't a bad man. And he can be a good father, when he wants to.
You think about this over and over again.
When you cry in the shower after the kids have gone to bed. Then you realize with certainty: "I don't know what to do, I just know it isn't this."
Then the lies come:
Things aren't that bad. Why should you derail your life and mess everything up for the kids, just because you're unhappy?
It's not the right time. What if this is the wrong decision, and I can never take it back?
I can't afford to live without his income.
Besides, you've always suffered for everyone else's happiness. Why should this time be any different?
You think of all the things you've built together:
The house. The kids. The 401K. The fancy pergola in the backyard for barbecues. The trampoline the kids jump on during the summer.
So you silence the part of yourself that wants more. Ignore the weariness that creeps into your bones. And focus instead on all the things you've been doing.
Couples therapy, the marriage books, going on dates, trips without the kids.
And you tell yourself it will work, even if it hasn't yet.
Because you aren't ready to say that the trust you once had in him is gone.
And you don't know if you'll ever get it back.
Hiding behind "I'm fine. We're fine.
It'll be fine."
In the back of your mind, where no one can hear you, and you only judge yourself a teeny tiny bit, you let yourself think about what it would be like to finally be free of him.
You think about, the relief in your chest and shoulders when he tells you he's got a work trip and will be gone for a few days.
The ease of managing the household and the kids when he isn't there.
The sleep that comes so much easier when you aren't lying awake breathing in that resentment like it was its own special recipe.
You know the kids understand a part of what’s happening, even if you don’t want them to.
Your 14 year old asks why dad hasn't been at dinner all week.
Your 9 year old asks you to throw the ball in the backyard because dad isn't home.
They see the ways your husband avoids being there.
They hear you crying and sobbing in the shower, even if you think the water is carrying it away.
Your mother doesn't understand, and you don't want to tell her too much because you don't want her to look at him differently.
Her advice, which of course just lights you on fire:
"Marriages go through rough patches, that's just how it goes."
"If you break up the marriage the kids will never be the same. Don't do it. You'll be fine."
Part of you wants to listen to her. Really. But the other part is asking, when do I get to choose me?
Hi! I’m Sarah-glad you are here
I've been where you are. Frozen in indecision. Terrified of making the wrong choice.
I know that hollow ache that reaches all the way down and sits in the pit of your stomach. The shame, guilt and never ending way you turn a decision like this over and over in your head.
When I was in the thick of it, I had a very good friend who also happened to be a therapist. She asked me questions. Helped me understand what I was feeling. One day I had absolute clarity, and I know it would have taken me a lot longer without her.
I created Her Legacy Rewrite so women have a space to name the thing they want.
To help you cut through the noise and exhaustion so you can think clearly about what you're living with and what you want to do next.
The Roommate I Married is an 8 week group for a small gathering of women who are done figuring this out alone.
Seventy-five minutes a week. A room where you don't have to pretend you have it together or that you know the answers. You don't. That's why you're here, reading this.
There are no right or wrong answers in this group. It’s more about your story and relationship being witnessed in a way that it hasn’t before.
You get to sit with women asking themselves the same question. And a coach with the lived experience and expertise to support you through this.
By the time we're done, you'll know what you want. And you'll trust yourself enough to take the next step, whatever that looks like for you.
This is for you if…
You've tried individual and couples therapy and keep landing in the same place.
You are exhausted from living the same day, the same week, the same years on repeat.
There is so much confusion surrounding whether this is the end of your marriage or just a rough patch.
You're ready to stop lying to yourself about how afraid you are to make this decision.
You understand that showing up consistently for eight weeks is what makes this work.
Join The Roommate I Married
There are two payment options for this group
Pay In Full Option
Price:
$950 total
*Save $50 by paying in full. You’ll be sent an invoice after our 30 minute call with me.
You’ll receive:
Eight 75 minute weekly group sessions covering the questions you've been afraid to ask yourself out loud, including the ones most people skip.
A somatic check-in every week so the work stays in your body, not just your head.
Permission to grieve the marriage you thought you'd have, even while you're still in it.
A dedicated session on why "he's not a bad guy" has kept you stuck, and how to embrace the truth that you're allowed to want more.
A 30 minute call before the group begins to determine fit and discuss your goals.
A confidential space with a small group of women navigating the same question you are.
A 1:1 session at the end of the eight weeks to explore your next steps.
Payment Plan Option
Price:
$1,000 total
$250 to hold your spot
$375 2nd payment
$375 3rd payment
*You’ll be sent an invoice for the $250 after the 30 minute call with me.
You’ll receive:
Eight 75 minute weekly group sessions covering the questions you've been afraid to ask yourself out loud, including the ones most people skip.
A somatic check-in every week so the work stays in your body, not just your head.
Permission to grieve the marriage you thought you'd have, even while you're still in it.
A dedicated session on why "he's not a bad guy" has kept you stuck, and how to embrace the truth that you're allowed to want more.
A 30 minute call before the group begins to determine fit and discuss your goals.
A confidential space with a small group of women navigating the same question you are.
A 1:1 session at the end of the eight weeks to explore your next steps.
Click on the link below to schedule a 1:1 with me to determine fit and explore next steps!
Email me directly at sarah@herlegacyrewrite.com if none of the booking times work for you.
Your right next step
*Group dates: To be determined.